Jokes and Cheese

  A friend of mine told me this joke at work:  There was an old man who lived in the country.  One day he was sitting on his porch when a young boy walked by holding some chicken wire.  "Boy, where you going with that there chicken wire?" he asked.
  "I'm going to catch me some chickens!" replied the boy.
  The old man scrunched up his face and pointed his finger in the air.  "Everybody knows you can't catch no damn chickens with no damn chicken wire!"
  The boy continues on his way undeterred.  Hours later, the boy comes back down the country road holding two chickens in each hand.  "Hot damn, boy!" the old man exclaimed as the boy continued on his way home.
  The next day, the old man was sitting on his porch when the young boy walked by holding some duct tape.
"Boy, where you going with that there duc' tape?"
  "I'm going to catch me some ducks!"
  The old man's eyebrows went up and he slapped his knee.  "Everybody knows you can't catch no damn ducks with no damn duc' tape!"
  The boy continued on his way undeterred.  Hours later, the boy came back down the country road holding two ducks in each hand.  "What in Sam Hill?" the old man hollered as the boy went on down the road.
  The next day, the old man was sitting on his porch when the young boy walked by again.  "Boy, what you got there now?"
  The boy replied, "pussy willow."
  The old man jumped up from his rocking chair and headed for his front door and then turned back to address the young boy.  "Hold on, son, let me grab my hat."

  When I was younger, my little sister used to try to tell me knock knock jokes.  But whenever she would say, "Knock knock."  I'd just come back with, "Come in."  That frustrated her to no end.  Boy I was a mean older brother.
  Oh, by the way, I found this good new cheese called Blue Marble Jack by Nasonville Dairy.  It's a semi-soft cheese that you can slice like Monterrey Jack, but it has these blue ribbons of delicious cheesiness laced throughout.  You can definitely taste both blue cheese and Jack.  According to the label, it's a Wisconsin original.  It's great on it's own, but I've also used it in a homemade French Onion soup.  I'd like to shred it on some spaghetti some time.  That sounds yummy.

The Cashier Experience

  You know, I think I've figured out the answer to the age-old question of what came first, the chicken or the egg?  It was probably the rooster (if the chicken even got to come at all).  I was just in the head and every stall was full.  It was like I was playing a losing hand of Poker.  They had a full house and I was hoping for a flush.  Since there are both military personnel and civilians working in this building, there's a sign in the head that says, "Do not discuss confidential information in this space."  Basically, it means 'don't talk about shit while you're taking a shit or you'll be in deep shit.'
  I wanted to talk about my time as a Petsmart cashier.  If you're a cashier, you might have someone accidentally give you a silver dollar, thinking it's a quarter.  You might acquire an entire set of those flawed Wisconsin quarters that are worth a lot on eBay.  You might have an old lady give you cans of government peaches in gratitude for helping her put her 50 pound bag of dog food in her car.  You might bump into Art Alexakis of the band, Everclear.  You might have a conversation with the actress, Mika Boorem.  You might get four 100% scores in a row from mystery shoppers.  You might have a lady tell you that "God has a plan for your life, or in your case, Buddha."  The best part is getting free training for your dog (not that it made a damn bit of difference, but I love him anyway!).
  Well, I gotta go.  Somewhere out there, there's a leg and a thigh with my name on it (get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about fried chicken!).