Saturday, May 4, 2013

Know Thyself (The Invisible Enemy)

  You know, here I am on this journey to know myself and I keep thinking I need to get rid of my subconscious.  I call it my invisible enemy.  Every time I try to be my best self, it comes along silently and sabotages my life, leaving me lonely and miserable.  Now, what I seem to be forgetting is that my subconscious is actually a part of me so if I'm going to get to know myself, I need to own it as a part of me.
  I don't live my day-to-day life as if I'm fighting an invisible enemy.  I mean, if I was back in the Navy and I was told that there was an enemy out there, I'd put on my little sonar tech headphones and listen to the ocean to find out exactly where the enemy was, how far away it was, which direction it was headed and how fast it was going.  Then I could help the submarine find a course which would either evade or attack the enemy.
  So, why am I not more aware of this enemy I face every second of every day?  I only live life as a victim to its silent attacks.  That's very tactically disadvantageous.  No wonder I am utterly alone in every single way possible.  I have no friends, no family and nobody at all who wants to have anything to do with me in any way.  I need to start living as if I know I have a part of me that doesn't want me to succeed.  There is a part of me that takes particular pleasure in keeping me exactly where I am.
  I only pay attention to the part of me that wants to succeed.  Life isn't that simple.  Red checker pieces have corresponding black checker pieces.  Movements are met with attacks, counterattacks and sneaky movements on the part of the enemy, designed to cause major harm.  Why have I so far merely acknowledged the enemy without arming myself against it?
  Let me imagine that I was in a zombie apocalypse.  Would I just leave my door open and live out my life in quiet desperation as if everything was normal?  No, I would close my doors, lock them and even board them up, along with my windows.  I would make sure I had food, water, weapons and anything else I need to survive.  That is the same attitude I should take against this enemy that I know I'm facing in my life right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment