Saturday, May 28, 2011

Another Writer

I just wrote an email to a zombie novelist who is one of my favorites.  I have one paper copy of a book of his and two more of his books on Kindle.  He is one of my favorite zombie writers.  Here is the body of the email I wrote to him:

  The first book of yours I read was 'Dead City'.  It opened my eyes to the emotional potential of a zombie story.  I myself am a zombie novelist.  I've been inspired by the depth of characters in your stories.  I always strive to find human stories in my tales no matter how horrific the action is. Part of that comes from having read your books and I thank you for that.  You've helped to show me that zombie fiction has literary respectability.  I'm constantly on the search for more books that have the same heartfelt reality mixed with gore and mayhem.  If you ever had the time, I would really appreciate it if you would visit my blog site at  Thank you for your time in even reading my email to you.

Paul Loh aka 'Zombie Killer'
  I just checked my Yahoo account and found that he had written back to me which is so cool!  Here's the body of what he said back:
Thanks for the kind words, man!  I appreciate that.  I just checked out your blog and it looks like you and Kayla are some pretty neat people.  Some really good content there.  Thanks again for taking the time to write to me, and for letting me know how much you've enjoyed my stories.  This made my day!
  I've been really blessed lately to make connections with so many people who are already doing what I would love to do with me life.  To top it all off, Kayla has recently bumped into someone who has already been to India and helped Tibetan refugees.  This is such an amazing time in our lives and I know that nothing happens by coincidence.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Thanks For Your Support!

  I just noticed that somebody from Australia has been reading my blog.  Now that's six out of seven continents! I'm so grateful to my faithful readers.  Damn bastards in Antarctica still slackin', though.  Anyway, you've stayed with me through thick and thin and I thank you for that.
  On TV right now is 'The People vs Larry Flynt'.  I've seen it before, but boy is it fun!  I love the determination and persistence with which he fought for our rights as citizens of these United States.  Ironically, even though I was in the Navy, I have more respect for his fight for freedom than I do for a lot of military people I've known. On more than one occasion he was incarcerated on our behalf.  He was shot and to top it all off, he was institutionalized.  I admire what he's done for our First Amendment rights.
  It is because of him that I can write a blog about bipolar disorder and zombies.  If I lost that right, what would be next?  Might I lose the right to eat in a restaurant with white people?  Oh, by the way, Australia, if you ever do a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho', please let me know.  I'd love to see that shower scene with the bloody water going down the drain, swirling in the opposite direction than the American version.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

That's a Wrap!

  There may be more filming on the 31st, but I think filming concluded today.  I had a couple of really cool conversations with the actor, Courtney Gains.  I first thought I remembered him being in a zombie movie, but he told me he never has.  He said he'd love to be and I told him I'm a zombie novelist.  I asked if he'd be interested in acting for me if I ever got one of my books made into a movie and he seemed fairly interested.  We also talked about the show, 'The Walking Dead' on HBO.  I told him I'd have to catch the first season on Netflix so that I can be up to date when season two starts.
  That conversation took place yesterday and last night it finally struck me where I know him from.  He was in Back to the Future.  After George punches out Biff, he's dancing with Lorraine.  A red head cuts in and Marty's hand starts to disappear, affecting his guitar playing.  Lorraine calls out to George and something suddenly clicks into place inside him and he knocks the red head on his ass to resume his dance with Lorraine.  Courtney Gains was that red head.  That scene is one of my top ten favorite scenes in the history of cinema.  I told him that and why it means so much to me.  It was the moment that George decided to take charge of his life and fight for what he loves and believes in.  Courtney really appreciated my assessment of that scene.  I just sent him a friend request on Face Book.  I hope he accepts!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Making the Film

  So yesterday I went to the studio to be part of the background in a western.  Kix Brooks of Brooks and Dunn came out of his trailer to welcome us to the studio and thank us for participating in the making of the film.  He's the star of this particular movie.  It's about a bank heist.  First, they had to make sure our costumes were period-correct for the 1890s.  Then it was off to hair and make-up.
  The scenes we shot involved the bank robbers leaving the bank and the ensuing gun fight.  There were several horses, as well as gun props involved in the scene so we had to have a briefing about horse and gun safety.  We were each given our starting marks and actions and then it was time to shoot.  The director sets up camera angles, lighting and rehearses the scene.  He also has to help the actors practice to look like they're used to riding horses.  That was a sight comical to behold.
  Finally, when everything was set up, the director first yelled, "Background!" signaling us to start our actions, then he yelled, "Action!" signaling the actors to start.  Each scene was shot several times and there were different angles and close-ups shot of the scenes.  After a while, we broke for lunch.  One more scene was shot after lunch and then the sun light was too different for continuity's sake to shoot any further.  I guess they don't film on Sundays so we'll be resuming on Monday and Tuesday.
  As I was getting ready to leave, a cowboy I hadn't seen previously was walking around.  As soon as he took his hat off, I recognized who it was.  It was Ernie Hudson!  I know him mostly as the fourth Ghostbuster, but I know he's been in lots of movies.  I actually got to shake his hand.  It was so cool.  As I shook his hand I looked him in the eye and said, "I'll see you on Monday."  That's right, Paul trying to be cool.  Trying.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Dying Words

  A huge part of my problem is that I haven't taken control of my own life.  I allow the actions or words of others to determine my mood or well being.  Kayla says that I need to build my own world and my own happiness. It's no mistake in my eyes that I just saw a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show that had muscular dystrophy, but managed to "play after every storm".  He made the most of his life and inspired many to do the same.  His name is Mattie Stepanek.  He lost his battle with MD almost seven years ago.  His final words were, "Inhale on purpose.  Don't simply breathe to survive."
  Everything I do is simply to survive.  Corey Taylor in a Stone Sour song said, "You can survive or you can die. Either way you lose."  Kayla is alive when she's drumming.  There are so many things she does that make her happy.  I wait for things to come to me.  When they do come I don't appreciate them because I didn't work for them.  If I worked for my happiness, I would appreciate the joys in life.  When I'm manic or depressed, the good things in life would not fly out the window, overshadowed by the downers.  Kayla points out that I have peaks and valleys, but too often I only focus on the valleys.
  One thing I know makes me happy is writing.  I know that when I'm angry or when I'm sad, I need to remember my writing and I need to write.  You, my loyal readers participate in my healing, just as I hope my writing can help you to find healing in your lives.  In the toughest times in my life, you've been there for me like Kayla.  I can't forget those peaks.  I do appreciate you like I appreciate my wife.  Please feel free to share with me your peaks and valleys.

Bad News, Good News

  I just found out that I still have deeply rooted anger issues related to my parents.  It's negatively affecting my family life.  It makes those around me afraid for their lives because of the violence I'm capable of when I'm in a manic episode.  I know that I need to take responsibility for my actions.  There was a guy on Dr. Phil who was sexually molested by his mother during his entire childhood.  He dealt with his issues and grew up to become a well-rounded man.  Of course, he isn't bipolar, but that wall isn't insurmountable.
  I just emailed my parents a heart-felt letter asking them to be a part of my resolution of my issues.  I told them I'd resolve them myself if I had to, but that I do want to be able to have them in my life.  Of course, I told them my family would take priority over any sort of relationship with them.  That's how it should be.  Spirit is stronger than blood.  I hope they have a positive response to my pleas.
  The good news is that the movie people called and I'll be going to film tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Zombie Squad

  I joined the Zombie Squad because they do charitable work and might be able to help us raise money to volunteer our services for the Tibetan refugees.  I'll have to find out what kinds of events might be going on anywhere near my locale.
  As of Wednesday, I'm still waiting for word from the movie makers to see if I can be an extra in 'To Kill A Memory'.  Gosh, I really hope they have room for one Chinese guy in their flick.
  I've been checking out Zombie World News to see if I can write reports for them.  I am now a zombie hunter on their website.  There are reports of zombie activity all over the world.  Of course, it's all fictional, but it's a great way to get my writing in print.  This in turn can bring attention to our cause.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

No Sales Yet!

  I checked and my story 'Alive Again' is now available on for Kindle.  No one's bought it yet, but hopefully that'll change soon.  I still haven't gotten a call from the movie people, but I'm hopeful for that too.  To think I could be in a movie!
  Right now I'm listening to four British boys on my mp3 player.  Carcass really was an amazing band, both musically and lyrically.  There could be movies made about the songs they wrote.  One of my favorite songs by them is about a guy who makes glue out of human bone so that he can sniff it and get high!  Speaking of movies, I'd love to put together a project where several different directors make several movies based on Carcass songs.  It could be called, 'Cinemas of Sickness' or 'Directing the Insalubrious'.  I'm sure someone out there could think of a clever title for it.  If only I could contact Carcass and suggest this to them.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


  Being bipolar makes it difficult, though not impossible to understand people's questions the way they ask them.  Add to that the fact that I'm not naturally inquisitive and that I lack social skills and you get lots of misunderstandings.  The challenge to me is to learn to recognize when a question seems to not make sense to me.  I have developed a lifelong habit of assuming I understood the question and answering it the way I think it should be answered.  That often leads to further misunderstandings.  I might seem rude, mean, hurtful or stupid when I do that.
  I need to see that if a question doesn't seem to make sense to me, there's a connection that I'm probably missing.  If I ask the person to clarify, then perhaps I can answer the question in a way that is actually helpful. The other day, I was asked if some newspapers should be put in the recycling bin.  My answer was, "All recyclables go in the recycling bin."  That didn't answer the question that was asked.  The real question that was being asked was 'is paper recyclable?' but I didn't hear it that way.  If I had noticed that the question seemed a little odd, at least to me, I could have asked for clarification, but I didn't.  I only gave the answer that made sense for me to give, which was was belittling and hurtful.
  On a side note, I've started recognizing some of the different feelings and thoughts I have when I'm manic, depressive, or none of the above.  When I'm happy, that is a none of the above emotion.  When I'm feeling down on myself, that's a depressive emotion.  If I'm hating God or the universe or people or the world, that's a manic emotion.  A typical thought when I'm manic would be, 'The problem with the world is people.  God created people.  If God didn't exist, I'd be happy.'  That's the grandiosity that comes with the disorder.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Never Occurred To Me

  So I've been putting out my book out chapter by chapter, but I've never given you a way to purchase a paper copy of it.  As you know, I published it at  It's ISBN: 978-0-557-05987-4.  Don't know why it never occurred to me to provide that information to you.  I have no idea how you go about purchasing it from the website, but I'm sure it's possible since my dad figured out how to do it.
  I'm going to put the ISBN in the header notes of the Nocent blog too.  I'll also put it on Twitter and Facebook.  Why shouldn't I promote my own book, right?  I'm proud of it, just like I'm proud of the music Kayla and I make.
  You ever have that Australian licorice from Trader Joe's?  Boy, is it some excellent stuff!

P.S. I just figured out how to put a button on the Nocent blog where if you press it, it immediately takes you to where you can purchase my book.  I'll but that button on all my blogs.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Asian-American Idol

  One of the casinos in town has a contest for singers.  It's on Saturday nights.  I submitted my name for consideration.  The next step would be if they called me, I'd go in for an audition.  If I pass that, there would be about 19 others I would be competing against on a given Saturday.  The event is televised!  The prize is $25,000 and a chance to audition for a recording company.  Cool or what?  Chief Loh will finally get the chance we've been waiting for!
  The other day we went online looking for a robe for me to wear.  We found an awesome kung fu robe that is black and extends all the way past the knees.  That is what I would wear to sing on stage in front of the audience.  Paul "Zombie Killer" Loh with his new stage persona.  Speaking of stages, I'm planning on performing a stand-up comedy routine for open-mic night at a local comedy club.
  On a side note, I'm writing a new short story in the Greater Number saga called, 'Index Patient'.  It tells the story of Kojira, the Japanese scientist and the beginning of the zombie outbreak.