Secure

  You know, I've heard people say things like, "Oh, look at that man wearing that pink shirt.  He must be really secure in his sexuality."  I don't like that.  Nobody looks at a gay man wearing a black shirt and says the same thing.  To me, this says something about both the man wearing the pink shirt and the commentator.  Now, if the man truly is "secure" with himself, I'm glad, but I've found that many people do things to prove their "security".  It's almost like a dare: Make fun of me, see what you get.
  Someone who is truly secure has no need to prove anything to anyone.  I came to that when my parents used to think I was being rebellious when I would dress certain ways or grow my hair long.  I thought to myself that rebellion has to do with a reaction to someone else.  It is you doing something because someone else tells you not to.  I was doing those things for my own reasons despite my parent's objections.  Their objections were incidental to my actions.  And it's not like I'm trying to say that I'm some model of security.
  Anyway, about security of sexuality.  My question is, what is that implying?  To me it shows a fear of appearing to be something that you're not.  If I was wearing a black and white striped shirt, would I be insecure about people thinking that I'm a zebra?  This attitude implies a negativity attached to the state of homosexuality.  It is generally a homophobic sentiment.  If people thought that gay people should be insecure about appearing to be heterosexual, that would also carry with it the implication of a negativity attached to being "straight".