Friendship

  I woke up at 4:30 in the morning yesterday with a warm white glow hovering over my bed.  I immediately thought my mother had died, but when I checked my emails, there was no word from my dad.  Kayla says she thinks it was my own soul.  That could be it, but I'm not sure what to think.  Not being able to fall back asleep, I walked all around the base deep in thought about my relationship with Kayla.  I've got a lot of work to do on my communication skills.  Most importantly, I have to learn how to be a good listener.  Hearing another's opinion does not mean it has to automatically become your own.
  I also had a lot of time to think about all those other stupid things that fill my mind when I can't sleep.  I mean like, why do people only point at the sky and say, "It's a bird, it's a plane!" when Superman's around?  On any other day, they never do.  Oh, and what did they call the Fu Manchu before Fu Manchu?
  The other day I was at Taco Bell.  There was a sign posted talking to people with food allergies to fish and other seafood.  It repeated the message in Spanish, but it put perscado for fish instead of pescado.  I asked the lady if that was a misprint or if I had been saying it wrong all these years.  She told me she didn't know because she doesn't speak Spanish.  I thanked her for the food and left with my question unanswered.  I wasn't asking if she spoke Spanish.  All you have to do is think of the Zodiac sign of Pisces.  I think it's related to the word pescado.  Also, people who don't eat meat, but do eat fish are called Pescaterians.  That's all I wanted to hear was that I wasn't crazy.  Boy, I'm a mean Taco Bell customer.  It's not like she has the time to think about those things while there's a line of hungry people waiting to be fed.  I really shouldn't be so selfish!  She's just doing her job, which does not entail answering stupid questions from assholes like myself!  Thanks, Kayla, for pointing out how cruel I was being!
  Anyway, I've been looking up a lot more old friends on Facebook.  I've found a lot!  It seems that no matter who it is, they invariably have like 500+ friends or something.  Whenever I'm sending a friend request, I think of David Spade in Tommy Boy saying, "You've made a friend, which probably doesn't mean much to you since you have so many, but I don't."  I also think of a quote by Andrew Wood from the song 'Until The Ocean' by Malfunkshun, where he says, "If you were my friend, I'd give you the ball on every play until the ocean calls my name."

Sublimation

  When I first heard the word sublimate, I had to have it explained to me.  I don't remember who I was with.  It might have been Kayla, Becky (my sister) or my mom.  I just remember it was a female and that they made a hilarious joke.  To sublimate is to go straight from a solid to a gas without first becoming a liquid.  The female I was with said, "Like Taco Bell?  When I eat there, that stuff sublimates inside my gut."  I still think of that every time I go to Taco Bell.
  Anyway, I'd like to thank my new readers in Switzerland and Poland.  Hey Switzerland, I apologize for what I said about Swiss cheese yesterday.  You've got some good banks from what I hear, and some good Army knives too.  Hey Poland, thank you because my wife is half Polish.  Y'all got some good sausages too.
  To all my readers, in a war between zombies and vampires, who do you think would win?  Here are my thoughts on the subject:  I think about both Alien vs. Predator and Freddy vs. Jason.  The Predators are highly intelligent with spacecrafts, weapons and such.  The Aliens are more animalistic, but have their instinct and thoughtless brutality on their side.  Freddy too is highly intelligent with his dream manipulation, finger knives and wit.  Jason, on the other hand, is more animalistic, with instinct and thoughtless brutality.  I think you can see where I'm going with this.  Just plug vampires and zombies into the above equation.  These are just my thoughts.  What do you think?

Taco Molecules

  My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me all she wanted to eat was Taco Bell.  So I figure that makes me half Chinese, half Korean and 100% reconstituted taco molecules.  My wife likes the burrito supreme.  Oh, yeah, baby!
  I've been reading my wife's blog.  I noticed that she ends some of her blogs with questions.  That's probably a great way to invite responses from her readers.  Made me realize I never ask you people anything.  How selfish I've been!  All my shit's about me me me.  I humbly apologize to you, my readers.  I really would like to hear from you.  I'd like to know anything about you that you'd care to share with me.  I can't believe I've been so one-sided with my blog.  I am truly humbled and I hope you can forgive me.  Please let me know your thoughts about anything at all!  I'd love to hear from you.