Shredding!

  I can shred cheese and I can shred paper.  Why oh why can't I shred on the guitar?  With all this shredding, my rotator cuff doesn't want to rotate anymore.  Workman's comp!  Punitive (not putative) damages!  I get all this fine powderized paper on my hands (and no, FBI, it's not anthrax!).
  If you've been reading my blogs today, you've seen that I've got food on my mind.  Did you know that America is one of the only countries in the world who doesn't consider insects to be a food item?  Most cultures in the world have some bugs in their diet.
  At an Entomology (not to be confused with etymology) fair I attended once at the University of Arizona, they had several delicacies available to sample that had bugs as an ingredient.  I had meal worms, bees, beetle larvae, grasshoppers, crickets and ants to eat that night.  At a buffet line in Korea, there were grasshoppers and crickets available.  Also in Korea, silk worms are sold on street corners by vendors.  They are also available canned at grocery stores.
  Once, Cold Stone Creamery had a promotion where if you ate an ice cream cone that had a cricket in it, you'd get a gift certificate for a free ice cream dish.  I had so many gift certificates by the time the promotion ended!  When I worked at Petsmart, some people were daring each other to eat some of the meal worms or crickets that are intended as lizard food.  I think I won like $20 that day.  Meal worms taste a bit like silk worms, just to give you an idea.
  When I was trying to be a vegetarian the summer after I graduated from high school, I read a magazine full of vegetarian recipes.  It was from there that I found out that there are many species of edible flowers.  The only one I actually had easy access to was squash flowers.  If you pick the flower and rinse it off in the sink, you can make sure there are no bugs in it (unless you want bugs in it).  Then you steam them and baste them in a little melted butter.  They're so tender and juicy that way!  Yummy yummy yummy.

Green to Yellow

  I've always felt as if I don't belong to any particular group or category.  This used to make me feel isolated and lonely.  Now I see that it has given me a unique perspective.  In high school I could hang out with the Chess club, the cheerleaders, the Poetry club and whomever else I felt like getting to know better.  I was not a part of any of them, but I could relate with any of them.  There were the gang members, the bullies, the druggies, the ones who had been to jail and the ostracized underdogs who I could sit with and have lunch.
  It was a strange phenomenon that people just felt that they could open up to me.  I never betrayed their trust.  Many a "problem child" would bare their souls to me about their home life and their families.  There was a bully who picked on me for a little while.  One day at lunch, he sat down next to me.  He said, "Do lots of people pick on you the way I used to?"  He then proceeded to tell me about his parent's recent divorce and his sister's struggles with depression.
  I have also not belonged to any economic class in my heart either.  Growing up, my parents always had money so I've eaten at the best restaurants, lived in huge houses and ridden in luxury cars.  I've travelled all over the world and stayed in the fanciest hotels.  All the while, I've not felt like a part of it.  I mean, I can relate with rich people, I just don't feel rich.
  On the other hand, since I moved away from my parents, I've lived in my car, slept in construction sites, old buildings and laundry rooms of apartment complexes.  I've had a bag of cat food I found be my only source of sustenance.  There was a time when I delivered Auto Trader magazines to various gas stations around Tucson for $52 dollars a week.  At that time, my only other income was donating my plasma twice a week for $20 a pop.  That's less than $5000 a year.
  I think all this has opened my eyes to the fact that everyone is looking for the same things.  Cat food and sushi both fill the belly and provide nutrients.  Tool sheds and luxury hotels both provide shelter.  Millionaires and toothless, crack-addicted ex-cons can provide companionship and love.  Buddha, Christ and a homeless, bipolar can recycler can give you wisdom.  I have found God in death metal songs, country songs, zombie books, classic literature, B-rated slasher flicks, television shows and in my turtle's eyes.
  I'll leave you with a story.  One day, back in college, I was walking around the University of Arizona.  It was Autumn and leaves were falling.  On the sidewalk, I noticed a leaf that fell in my path.  I picked it up.  Only parts of it had faded to yellow.  Part was still green.  The patterns spelled out the letters L-O-V-E.  I knew it was a message from God.  This was in the days before camera phones and such.  I was near the dorm of a friend so I brought it to her, but by the time I walked to her place, the heat from my hand had faded the entire leaf to yellow.  I wasn't able to share the miracle with anybody.  From that I can see that God gives me love in ways that I can understand.  It is then up to me to give love to people in ways that they can understand.  This blog and my stories are my way of giving love to the world.  Where have you found love and how do you share it?