Friday, April 12, 2013

A Sad Reality

  Being alone as I am right now, I'm really starting to see the sad reality of the life I have built for myself.  I've turned away all my friends and family.  No one has time for me or wants to hang out with me.  For all I know, this is how it's always been, I just lived under the illusion that all the people I know through work, school, Facebook, etc. were actual friends.  When I look at the pattern of my life, whenever I stopped being involved in whatever job, school or organization, I also stopped being involved with the people I knew from there.  I don't keep friends, which means I don't make real friends, which means that I am not a true friend to anybody.  I'm so lonely right now, but I get the feeling that if I was living in reality all my life, I would have been lonely all my life.  I don't build beautiful things.  All the tweeting, facebooking and blogging I do does not change that.  I'm facing the desolation of my soul.  At least there's nowhere to go from here but up.

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