Thursday, December 30, 2010

Pet Peeves

  One day I was taking a shower and I saw the water going down the drain.  I laughed out loud because I imagined how funny it would be if Australia did a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho.  In the shower scene, the blood going down the drain would be going in the opposite direction than in the American version.  Boy I would laugh my head off if I saw that.  If I was in a theatre at the time, I'd probably be both baffling and annoying other viewers.  At least if y'all was there, you'd know what I'm laughing at.
  Speaking of annoying-there are a few things that get my goat every time.  I hate it when people question my grammatical integrity.  "Don't you have a degree in Creative Writing?" they usually ask.  Why yes.  Yes I do.  Here's a question for you.  Does an auto mechanic always do everything by the book?  As a matter of fact, does any expert in any field do things by the book?  No, says I.  You learn the rules and procedures so that you know what you're doing, but that is only how you start.  Over the years you find little tricks, short cuts and personal nuances that are comfortable to you.
  Here's another one that always gets me: religious people who try to censure your speech while you're in their presence.  Let's say, for example, you say something like, "Oh, God".  They come back with something like, "Don't take the Lord's name in vain".  Even complete strangers will try to pull that shit.  Hmm.  And I know you how?  And I became a Christian when?  I've come up with a response that so far has not had a successful refutation: "My freedom of speech doesn't infringe upon your freedom of religion".  Next time you're in that situation, try it.

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