Monday, January 24, 2011

Pastry Deities

  Why is the Virgin Mary always showing up on tortillas?  That's great for reaching out to the lost of the world who eat tortillas.  I know occasionally Jesus shows up on taco shells and tortillas too.  So those of Latino or Hispanic origins are covered.  Over in the Mediterranean area, what about showing up on some pitas?  Or if you want to catch people while they're young, show up on some zwieback.  Mary could make a killing appearing on ham sammiches, unless, of course, she wants to reach Japan (by now I've probably lost the entire Japanese ham sammich demographic).
  What if the other deities got in on the pastry circuit?  You could have Vishnu on a marble rye.  I'd love to see the Buddha on a bagel or something.  Mohammad, Siva, Eck and Azna could all get in on the action.  Now there's the little potential problem of recognizability.  I mean, I wouldn't know Hermes from Adam.  Zeus yeah, everybody knows Zeus, but what about Poseidon?  If I saw him on a tater chip, I'd probably just dip him in some ranch and munch away.  Maybe that is what's going on all over the world.  People are eating up all the gods.  Oh yeah, what about those poor lost souls on the Adkin's diet?  Are there any diet deities?  A flatbread sammich would make a nice backdrop for the Unmoved Mover.  I sure could go for some proselytizing pastrami right now.
  On a side note, it occurs to me as hilariously humorous that in the French version of the Bible when Jesus was on the mountainside and fed 5,000 people with a couple loaves of bread and a few fish, it translates into pain (bread) and poisson (fish).  Sounds like he pulled a Jim Jones on them.  At least he didn't turn the water into Kool-Aid.

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