Zombie Killer Food

  I really like to eat.  My wife leaves me alone when I'm in the kitchen because she knows I'll come out with a masterpiece.  Here are four of my favorite recipes that I've concocted en la cocina:
Cilantro Beef Soup
-1 lb ground beef
-1 bunch of cilantro
-1 can of beef broth
-lime juice
-white pepper
  Brown the ground beef while bringing the broth to a boil.  Put in the white pepper, cilantro and lime juice to taste.  Add the beef last since boiling meat tends to sap its moisture and make it tough to chew.  Enjoy.

Grilled Steak and Veggies
-1 eggplant
-your favorite cut of steak
-portabella mushrooms
-aluminum foil
  Tear off enough pieces of foil to have a steak for each person.  Cut the eggplant into 1/2 inch slices.  Put a slice of eggplant onto each piece of foil.  Put whatever seasonings on the steak that you love.  Lay the meat on the eggplant, then lay a mushroom on the meat.  It'll look a bit like a hamburger.  Wrap it up in the foil and throw it on the grill.  The juices from the various ingredients will mix together creating a wonderful aroma and flavor.  When the meat is cooked to your satisfaction, take it off the grill and serve it up!

Stuffed Baby Portabellas
-pecans
-mozzarella cheese
-green olives
-baby portabella mushrooms
-spices
-food processor
  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Detach the stems from the mushrooms and put them in the food processor along with the cheese, pecans, spices and olives.  The amounts of each ingredient depend on your taste.  Blend that shit up.  Lay the mushroom tops on some foil on a cookie sheet.  Spoon the blended stuff into the mushroom heads.  Pop that shit into the oven until the cheese melts and the mushrooms brown a little.  I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

Chickety China (the Chinese Chicken)
-1 Cornish game hen
-Chinese five spices
-oil or butter
-any stuffing you desire
  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Make sure the hen is fully thawed.  Lay the bird, breast-side-up on a baking pan or cookie sheet.  Cover the bird with melted butter or cooking oil, leaving some on the bottom of the pan so the skin won't stick.  The stuffing isn't necessary, it's just fun to experiment with.  At different times I've used Stove Top stuffing, rice, potatoes or Spam.  Oddly enough, it was the Spam that has become my favorite stuffing.  Anyway, coat the bird with Chinese Five Spice inside and out.  Lay foil on top of it, securing the foil on the edges of the pan.  Pop that thing in the oven for 1 hr and 30 mins.  Voila!  The meat falls right off the bones and the skin is crisp and flavorful!